Brutally Disabling keyboard use

HTML

<button>Toggle Keyboard</button>
<p>"No, Sir, I never have."</p>

<p>"Dost know nothing at all about whaling, I dare say&mdash;eh?</p>

<p>"Nothing, Sir; but I have no doubt I shall soon learn. I've been several voyages in the merchant service, and I think that&mdash;"</p>

<p>"Merchant service be damned. Talk not that lingo to me. Dost see that leg?&mdash;I'll take that leg away from thy stern, if ever thou talkest of the marchant service to me again. Marchant service indeed! I suppose now ye feel considerable proud of having served in those marchant ships. But flukes! man, what makes thee want to go a whaling, eh?&mdash;it looks a little suspicious, don't it, eh?&mdash;Hast not been a pirate, hast thou?&mdash;Didst not rob thy last Captain, didst thou?&mdash;Dost not think of murdering the officers when thou gettest to sea?"</p>

<p>I protested my innocence of these things. I saw that under the mask of these half humorous innuendoes, this old seaman, as an insulated Quakerish Nantucketer, was full of his insular prejudices, and rather distrustful of all aliens, unless they hailed from Cape Cod or the Vineyard.</p>

<p>"But what takes thee a-whaling? I want to know that before I think of shipping ye."</p>

<p>"Well, sir, I want to see what whaling is. I want to see the world."</p>

JavaScript

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    function(){
        $(document).keydown(function(){return false;});
    },
    function(){
        $(document).unbind('keydown');
    }
);