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<ul>
<li><a href="#test1">The Big Lebowski</a></li>
<li><a href="#test2">Samuel L. Jackson</a></li>
<li><a href="#test3">Chuck Norris</a></li>
</ul>
<section id="test1">
<h1>The Big Lebowski</h1>
<p>
Lebowski ipsum fine, Dude. As if it's impossible to get some nail polish, apply it to someone else's toe. Well sir, it's this rug I have, really tied the room together. They did not receive the money, you nitwit! They did not receive the goddamn money. HER LIFE WAS IN YOUR HANDS! We wanted to talk about little Larry. May we come in? Lady, I got buddies who died face-down in the mud so you and I could enjoy this family restaurant!
</p><p>
I know my rights. We're scattering the fucking ashes! Hey, relax man, I'm a brother shamus. They won't hurt us, Donny. These men are cowards. Eight-year-olds, Dude. My name's Da Fino! I'm a private snoop! Like you, man! Shomer shabbos. Yeah well, that's just, ya know, like, your opinion, man. Fuck it, Dude. Let's go bowling. That wasn't her toe. Fuckin' A. The Knutsens. It's a wandering daughter job. Bunny Lebowski, man. Her real name is Fawn Knutsen. Her parents want her back.
</p><p>
Sure you'll see some tank battles. But fighting in desert is very different from fighting in canopy jungle. Vee belief in nossing. That, or Duder. His Dudeness. Or El Duderino, if you know, you're not into the whole brevity thing. You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. I SAY VEE CUT OFF YOUR CHONSON!
</p><p>
Where's my goddamn money, you bum?! Come on, Donny, they were threatening castration! Call the medics, Dude. They call Los Angeles the City of Angels. I didn't find it to be that exactly, but I'll allow as there are some nice folks there. 'Course, I can't say I seen London, and I never been to France, and I ain't never seen no queen in her damn undies as the fella says. But I'll tell you what, after seeing Los Angeles and thisahere story I'm about to unfold —wal, I guess I seen somethin' ever' bit as stupefyin' as ya'd see in any a those other places, and in English too, so I can die with a smile on my face without feelin' like the good Lord gypped me.
</p><p>
I FUCK YOU! YOU CANNOT HURT ME! I BELIEF IN NUSSING! Our basic freedoms. This Chinaman is not the issue! What are you, some kind of sad-assed refugee from the fucking sixties? Is this yours, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry? Not a bunch of fig-eaters with towels on their heads tryin' to find reverse on a Soviet tank. Zere ARE no ROOLZ! Uh, yeah. Probably a vagrant, slept in the car. Or perhaps just used it as a toilet, and moved on.</p>
</section>
<section id="test2">
<h1>Samuel L. Jackson</h1>
<p>Look, just because I don't be givin' no man a foot massage don't make it right for Marsellus to throw Antwone into a glass motherfuckin' house, fuckin' up the way the nigger talks. Motherfucker do that shit to me, he better paralyze my ass, 'cause I'll kill the motherfucker, know what I'm sayin'? </p>
<p>Your bones don't break, mine do. That's clear. Your cells react to bacteria and viruses differently than mine. You don't get sick, I do. That's also clear. But for some reason, you and I react the exact same way to water. We swallow it too fast, we choke. We get some in our lungs, we drown. However unreal it may seem, we are connected, you and I. We're on the same curve, just on opposite ends. </p>
<p>Now that we know who you are, I know who I am. I'm not a mistake! It all makes sense! In a comic, you know how you can tell who the arch-villain's going to be? He's the exact opposite of the hero. And most times they're friends, like you and me! I should've known way back when... You know why, David? Because of the kids. They called me Mr Glass. </p>
<p>Do you see any Teletubbies in here? Do you see a slender plastic tag clipped to my shirt with my name printed on it? Do you see a little Asian child with a blank expression on his face sitting outside on a mechanical helicopter that shakes when you put quarters in it? No? Well, that's what you see at a toy store. And you must think you're in a toy store, because you're here shopping for an infant named Jeb. </p>
<p>Your bones don't break, mine do. That's clear. Your cells react to bacteria and viruses differently than mine. You don't get sick, I do. That's also clear. But for some reason, you and I react the exact same way to water. We swallow it too fast, we choke. We get some in our lungs, we drown. However unreal it may seem, we are connected, you and I. We're on the same curve, just on opposite ends. </p>
</section>
<section id="test3">
<h1>Chuck Norris</h1>
<p>Chuck ipsum. Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths. Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight. China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth. Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn’t find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, “always leave things the way you found em!” Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two" When asked what type of vehicle he drives, Chuck Norris responded slyly with "Don't you mean what kind of vehicle drives me?" The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh*t from anybody. Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Kasparov in the side of the face. Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public. Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris played golf for money, chuck marked down a hole in 0 every time, a pro at the golf club, said to Chuck: "excuse me sir, but you cant score zero on a hole". Chuck Norris turned towards the man and said, im Chuck Norris, the man then proceeded to pour gas over his body and set himself on fire because that would be less painful than getting roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the face anyways. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack. </p>
<p>Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his own head. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living sh*t out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own. Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife. Chuck Norris once threated to sue Burger King because they refused to make it his way. When asked what “his way” detailed, he replied: “with barbed wire and nails, of course”. He then roundhouse kicked the reporter for even asking. Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably. China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth. Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the sh*t out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own. Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There we no survivors. Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there. If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*ck down Chuck Norris never “gets laid”, rather: “laid gets Chuck”. Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his own head. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. </p>
<p>Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably. There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away. Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress. One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter. Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly ‘get out of jail free’ card. In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f*cking Indian. Chuck Norris never “gets laid”, rather: “laid gets Chuck”. Playgirl magazine once asked Chuck Norris to appear naked in an issue, Chuck laughed at the opportunity saying “there isn’t enough paper in the world to contain my bearded member”. He then killed the editors simply by unzipping his pants. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is. Chuck Norris never “gets laid”, rather: “laid gets Chuck”. Chuck Norris once threated to sue Burger King because they refused to make it his way. When asked what “his way” detailed, he replied: “with barbed wire and nails, of course”. He then roundhouse kicked the reporter for even asking. Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds. Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f*cking Indian. Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. .Make your own on ChuckIpsum.com</p>
<p>Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn’t find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, “always leave things the way you found em!” Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist. Playgirl magazine once asked Chuck Norris to appear naked in an issue, Chuck laughed at the opportunity saying “there isn’t enough paper in the world to contain my bearded member”. He then killed the editors simply by unzipping his pants. Chuck Norris isn’t lactose intolerant. He just doesn’t put up with lactose’s sh*t. When Chuck Norris played golf for money, chuck marked down a hole in 0 every time, a pro at the golf club, said to Chuck: "excuse me sir, but you cant score zero on a hole". Chuck Norris turned towards the man and said, im Chuck Norris, the man then proceeded to pour gas over his body and set himself on fire because that would be less painful than getting roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the face anyways. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Kasparov in the side of the face. When asked what type of vehicle he drives, Chuck Norris responded slyly with "Don't you mean what kind of vehicle drives me?" Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the sh*t out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill. When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn’t work, he plays zombie. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter. Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is. Chuck Norris isn’t lactose intolerant. He just doesn’t put up with lactose’s sh*t. </p>
<p>They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh*t from anybody. Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye. Helen Keller’s favorite color is Chuck Norris Multiple people have died from Chuck Norris giving them the finger. There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks. Chuck Norris doesn’t need to swallow when eating food. Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight. Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always. Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist. Playgirl magazine once asked Chuck Norris to appear naked in an issue, Chuck laughed at the opportunity saying “there isn’t enough paper in the world to contain my bearded member”. He then killed the editors simply by unzipping his pants. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. Helen Keller’s favorite color is Chuck Norris Playgirl magazine once asked Chuck Norris to appear naked in an issue, Chuck laughed at the opportunity saying “there isn’t enough paper in the world to contain my bearded member”. He then killed the editors simply by unzipping his pants. Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world’s hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane". Chuck Norris doesn’t need to swallow when eating food. Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public. Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing. Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife. </p>
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